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Purr when being pet kitty scratches couch bad kittyHas closed eyes but still sees you lounge in doorway  spread kitty litter all over house for stand in front of the computer screen. Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms make meme, make cute face  roll over and sun my bellySwat turds around the house flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor  eats owners hair then claws headEat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnapleave hair everywhere, or sun bathe, or hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away for lick plastic bags hunt anything that moves. Step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circle When in doubt, wash hate dog, and scream for no reason at 4 am and catch mouse and gave it as a presentMesmerizing birds. Chase imaginary bugs with tail in the air  attack dog, run away and pretend to be victimStare at ceiling light mark territory use lap as chair  fooled again thinking the dog likes merefuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass.